3 Lessons from the Divorce Journey

  • 0
  • January 6, 2017

Divorce can be a life-altering event shaping a spouse’s perception of the world around them. During the process of divorce, separating spouses can receive input from several different sources, including their family law lawyer. With so many influencers having a rooted interest in the separation, it is easy for clients to become overwhelmed by the whirlwind of a broad spectrum of advice. Add in managing the emotional hurt, new financial pressures, and the need to stoically carry work responsibilities, and the situation can be quite challenging.

And while the primary role of the family law lawyer is to advocate fearlessly for her clients, the secondary role is to skillfully guide those clients through the uncertainties and risks of the divorce process, as well as supporting their best interests as the journey unfolds. As cliché as they may be, here are three tried-and-true lessons about divorce which many clients learn as the separation process unfolds.

Knowing what’s best for you doesn’t always come at the first moments

Surprisingly enough, some clients have a hard time deciding ultimately what is best for them. Instead, they consider the effect their divorce has or will have on their children, grandchildren and anyone else in their lives.

Knowing what’s truly best for you, however, does not always come when the decision to separate became apparent. It can take time to realize that your divorce was the right route resulting in a more positive change to your wellbeing that you had previously thought. After a lengthy partnership, testing new waters and adjusting to lifestyles changes it may take some time to regain a sense of clarity, comfort, and security. And that may not be a bad thing.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

One of the most common clichés surrounding divorce is that there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. While this is certainly true, exactly when this light becomes visible depends on a plethora of variables. What divorcees need to realize is that unfortunately, things may get worse before they get better.

Starting a new life can be intimidating and feel like unchartered territory particularly for those emerging from a long-term traditional marriage. The expectation of an instant improvement in the lifestyle may come true for some, and for others, the support of a network of close friends proves invaluable. The strength to ask for help from a trained counselor, religious or spiritual guide, or family member is empowering and healing.

Channel optimism and opportunities

Fear can be a powerful negative emotion which divorcing spouses may feel post-separation. Despite these feelings being perfectly normal and common, they present as an emotional distraction requiring acknowledgment and management. Visualizing confidence, joy and a positive sense of possibilities, energy, and opportunities opens a forward optimistic future.

Lorisa Stein is an experienced senior family law lawyer based in downtown Toronto, Ontario. She has utilized the collaborative method to help countless spouses and families resolve their conflicts. To schedule a confidential consultation with Lorisa, contact her at www.LorisaStein.com, call her direct line at (416) 596-8081 or email her at lorisa@lorisastein.com.

Call Lorisa